Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2008, at 22:57:51
In reply to Re: Has your T said the L word about you?, posted by lucie lu on July 2, 2008, at 22:24:16
I'm glad you found it helpful. :)
I often refer to "being a Jessica" with my therapist. I think it put what I wanted in terms he could understand and find acceptable. It even usually amuses him. It was at that point, and under that frame of reference, that he lost his fear of telling me anything other than a very standard "of course I care for you. I care for all my clients." That plus I told him what you've said to yours. "If after all these years and all this effort, you care for me as much as you care for someone you just met a month ago, there's something really really wrong."
My therapist would never consider giving me a teddy bear. He did make me a guided relaxation tape once. The real purpose of that was to have a recording of his voice to ground me, although it was early in therapy and I doubt I told him so. Also, when he took a part time job that required a lot of travel, I asked if I could take his picture and he agreed, probably out of guilt.
But in general, in the gesture sort of way, he just doesn't do that. Therapy sessions have only run over a handful of times, and then only when I wanted to leave and he wanted to extract something from me. He'd never dream of giving me a teddy bear or anything from his office or anything at all really. I was going to say he'd never call me unless I asked, but I recall now that he did one time in thirteen years, when I left a session particularly upset with him. If I ran out of money, he'd wish me well and miss me, but he wouldn't offer to see me for free.
I think different therapists are probably very different in this regard. My therapist is warm and caring by my standards, I think. But probably by the standards of many therapists here he is rather reserved and detached.
So maybe in considering whether a therapist has conveyed love, either directly in words or indirectly, you have to start with who the therapist is by nature.
poster:Dinah
thread:837716
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/837922.html