Posted by Daisym on November 28, 2007, at 23:24:08
In reply to Just FYI SD... » Muffled, posted by Muffled on November 28, 2007, at 22:42:24
Some things are just plain hard. How do we stay attached and yet hold things independently? It would have been easier to figure this out when we were 3 or 5 or 8.
I told my therapist today that I wasn't calling him again because I couldn't bear the risk of him not calling me back. He said, "have I ever not called back? At least by the next day?" Well...no - but still...It is such an ebb and flow - I know he is there for me and I'm afraid to let him be. I don't want to "use him up." He tells me all the time that this comes from my mother not seeing my pain and from her constant refrain of "do it yourself - you are smart enough, strong enough, etc." And she valued it when I didn't need her. My therapist says, "I'm not your mother!" Yes...but...still...
Today he told me to take him with me again. It helps to know that he is willing to give up a small piece of himself to me so that I can feel safer. And I'm allowed to leave pieces of myself there. Not all of the parts anymore, but some.
Progress - I'm glad you see yours. Painful and slow maybe, but still progress.
You see him Friday. It isn't too far away. Hang in there.
poster:Daisym
thread:797492
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797544.html