Posted by sunnydays on November 30, 2007, at 16:57:25
In reply to Sad, posted by sunnydays on November 29, 2007, at 22:03:24
I saw T today. Unfortunately, I don't know how much it helped. He didn't say what I wanted to hear which was, "Of course you're nothing like your mom." He said that everyone's like their parents to some degree. And that we can work on identifying ways that I'm like my mother that I don't like and ways to change that.
And I was trying to get at something, and he guessed it and phrased it exactly what I was wondering, which was, "Do you think that some of your missing me is like when your mom is missing you and you see it as a manipulation? Do you ever think your missing me is a manipulation?"
And I said not most of the time but sometimes I wonder, and he said that it's not a bad thing (like I think it is - I see it as the worst possible thing in the world), it's something people do to cope with feelings they're having, that it's not something people are conscious of when they do it, etc. But he didn't disagree and say it never was a manipulation for me.
And I guess I have to face the reality that sometimes it probably is a manipulation. And that maybe I'm not who I hoped I was.
And I emailed my T afterwards and said, "I want reassurance," even though I did get lots of reassurance at the end of the session. And he hasn't emailed me back. And he probably won't at this point since maybe he left work already and he doesn't check his email at home. And that makes me sad because it probably means that he doesn't think it's good for me to always give me reassurance when I want it. And that makes me sad.
sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:797492
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797887.html