Posted by madeline on March 19, 2006, at 18:21:15
In reply to Re: Now the truth, albeit bitter, comes to me. » fallsfall, posted by madeline on March 19, 2006, at 18:00:29
Maybe it will help explain it a little more.
I can honestly say that I have never loved anyone before. During the time when I should have been learning to love and trust, I was beaten, yelled at and pretty much violated in every way imaginable.
My therapist is the first person that I have even come close to trusting in over 30 years.
I have never been married. I can't tolerate most relationships with men or women.
I do not know how to act now that I feel this way. I'm scared of it. I'm scared of him and I think more than anything else, I'm scared of how open I have been with him.
I think I am just minimizing what a real human relationship means to me and at the slightest whiff of trouble, I just want to bolt.
This is tough for me. Sitting with this is very hard. Hurts are magnified 1000 fold over what they really should be.
I'm really going to have to work here just to tolerate it.
Thanks, I'm just blathering on and on.
poster:madeline
thread:620748
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/622199.html