Posted by fallsfall on March 19, 2006, at 9:17:55
In reply to Now the truth, albeit bitter, comes to me., posted by madeline on March 19, 2006, at 7:40:37
Yes, you need to talk to him about this. The more openly you can talk the better. You are talking about your core needs as a human being. It doesn't get more important than that!
My own belief is that some therapists love some patients. And that many (most?) therapists care about many (most?) of their patients. In my own case, I believe that my therapist cares very deeply for me.
But there is that boundary, that necessary boundary. The boundary is a safety net for both the therapist and for us. Just because there is a net, that doesn't mean that we aren't walking the tight rope.
Having this discussion with him will let help you to understand what your deep needs are. Understanding these things can help you to organize your life to better meet these needs.
The discussion is about you. But you can't discuss how you are in a relationship without there being a second party. Our therapists provide that necessary second party. But, you know, they know, too, that they are standins. That must hurt them, too? Not that their feelings for us aren't real, but that they have to be limited. That must hurt them, too. But they do it even though it hurts them too, because they care about us.
Peace be with you.
poster:fallsfall
thread:620748
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/621966.html