Posted by madeline on March 21, 2006, at 7:24:04
In reply to Re: Well, I go to my T in the morning. » madeline, posted by milly on March 21, 2006, at 6:59:44
thank you milly, you will have to tell me about your visit.
Things went quite well I think. I really did a lot of work before I went in today about what really bothered me about the "no sex" lecture. And it really wasn't about sex at all, it was about me being afraid, receiving what I thought was a confirmation of being afraid and reacting to it wildly.
It all boiled down to initmacy (hence all the sex talk) and how unusual it was for me and how scary these new feelings of love are.
When I told him that I decided (erroneously) that there was no love in therapy, he said without reservation or pause "that there was no therapy without love".
He went on to say that he differed early on from his analytical mentors that there should be absolute neutrality on the part of the analyst. "You have to engage and be there with the patient" he said.
I am still very sad that I will never know my T the way he knows me and I will never ever know how much I mean to him, but I think it is a hurt I can deal with.
I came very very close to never loving anything in my whole life. Therapy has gone a long way in bringing me back from that brink.
It's tough, but I think it will be worth the struggle - at least until I get freaked out again ;)
Thanks again to all babblers.
So, about your visit....
poster:madeline
thread:620748
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060312/msgs/622797.html