Posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 3:39:35
i have an appoitment to see a p-doc. to discuss my treatment 'options' (aka he is going to decide whether he is going to offer to work with me or not). this one has been around for a while.
i'm really worried about the appoitment. in the last one... i kind of lost it. i was really upset with the service and my (lack of) treatment from the service and i kind of went off about that. and about how unfair i thought that was. and so on...
basically... i got myself wound up. into a right state :-(
and now i have to go to this one. and figure out how to not make an *ss of myself.
be careful...
because it is about the system not about them personally.
but they take it personally and get defensive and then things deteriorate.
and sometimes it sort of is personal...
and people have been trying to get this guy to work with me for years now.
and i don't know why but he wouldn't.but i can't mess this up.
but how am i not going to?
and that is the problem.
and maybe...
i just am a professional victim.
because whenever i go
the past hurts go with me
and f*ck up the present
and its not even about the system anyway...
its about my dad :-(
but that doesn't help me.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:554076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/554076.html