Posted by Tamar on September 12, 2005, at 18:38:49
In reply to self-control, posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 3:39:35
Hi Alex,
I agree with what cricket said.
I also wonder whether it’s possible to decide not to talk about your feelings about the lack of treatment from the service, and focus on the reasons you want/need the service. For one thing, it will probably make it easier for the p-doc to assess you. I imagine it will be difficult… simply being there will probably prompt all the usual emotions. But maybe you could arrange to meet someone after the appointment to get things off your chest. Maybe your therapist, or a good friend? Or come and talk to us at Babble. Then at least if you feel the rage rising to the surface perhaps you’ll be able to say to yourself that you’ll be able to scream and shout about it all in an hour or so.
Can you use any relaxation techniques? Again, it might help a little. Remember to breathe. Don’t speak without thinking through (briefly) what you’re going to say. Count to ten if you have to. Sit on your hands. Whatever it takes.
> but i can't mess this up.
> but how am i not going to?
> and that is the problem.
> and maybe...
> i just am a professional victim.
> because whenever i go
> the past hurts go with me
> and f*ck up the present
> and its not even about the system anyway...
> its about my dad :-(
> but that doesn't help me.I guess if past hurts didn’t go with you and f*ck up the present you probably wouldn’t need the service. Surely that’s the whole point. And maybe it’s best to focus on how you might be able to talk about that, because it might not be easy.
I don’t think you’re a professional victim (I ranted about that phrase in a post to Racer earlier). But of course it’s hard to bite your tongue if you feel angry about being mistreated. On the other hand, there’s something to be said for suspending your anger for an hour if you can. I know you say you don’t know where to put the rage. Can you visualise actually putting it somewhere? Maybe before you leave for your appointment, put it in a drawer in your room, or in a cupboard in the kitchen or something? And then when it starts to build in your appointment, can you visualise taking it and putting it in the same place as the rest of your rage, so that you can pick it up later? It sometimes works for me. Of course, the thing about rage is that it’s explosive. And you will probably have to visualise going back and getting it out of the drawer (or whatever) later on. But if you can keep it together for the duration of the appointment you’ll probably be at your most persuasive.
(((((Alexandra)))))
I hope you get the outcome you’re looking for.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:554076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554338.html