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Re: self-control

Posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 3:46:41

In reply to self-control, posted by alexandra_k on September 12, 2005, at 3:39:35

and my t...
i know my t is thinking
'why do you keep putting yourself through this?'
why do i think the professionals have some trademark on getting better.
why am i so dependent on them.
(why do i devalue her in favour of people who won't even work with me)
and i don't know why
but yeah, i do feel dependent
and i do hate the service too
with all my guts
i hate them
for what they have done to me
and yeah i guess that makes me a victim
but i don't know where to put the rage
i don't know where to put it
because i've been fighting for treatment for a good seven years
and i've just been passed around...
passed around...
till people leave
or they get sick of me and write horrible things on my file
recommending that nobody work with me
saying i haven't improved
and i'm never going to

and while it probably would be empowering to just forget all about them and put it behind me and to have forgotten all about my history...
its impossible to do in practice
and there it is...

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:554076
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050901/msgs/554079.html