Posted by Racer on February 22, 2004, at 17:36:51
In reply to Re: What do you tell your parents?, posted by DaisyM on February 22, 2004, at 16:24:41
What DaisyM posted:
"But a wise friend told me that I should stop trying to get emotional support from people who have consistantly failed to provide it. Instead, accept who they are and what they could offer and go find other people for the deep support I needed. That way I wouldn't be sad for what I wasn't getting and I wouldn't be disappointed in them for who they are."
That says almost everything.
As for me, my mother is the polar opposite of fallsfall's, it seems. Mother blames herself so much, more of my attention is aimed at reducing her pain and feelings of failure than of communicating any of the negatives. Of course, that's also a continuation of the rest of my life: protecting mother. I, too, did the grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, ironing, etc by 12 or 13. In my case, of course, it was in self-defense: mother would get distracted and wander off, in her sweet gentle moonbeam way, from the cooking or laundry. That habit resulted in things like pink underwear and flaming broilers. Taking it on myself was just a way to keep my undies white and my food edible.
So, I can't offer much beyond my own experiences, but I hope it helps to see that there is another wrong way to do it...
poster:Racer
thread:316484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040218/msgs/316597.html