Posted by noa on January 24, 2004, at 8:24:56
In reply to I called Bubba :(, posted by Karen_kay on January 22, 2004, at 16:33:44
ARGH!
This frustrates me because as Rigby said--you're the patient, you can test the boundaries. BUt he is the therapist and he should know and be prepared to handle such testing.
YOu aren't the only one who might have crossed a boudnary! He disclosed some really inappropriate things about himself! As you said--
>"I have half a mind to tell him that if he didn't tell me so much about his stupid personal life I wouldn't be so interested."
As the therapist, HE is the one who is supposed to monitor the boundaries. If he is treating people with what he considers to be Borderline Personality Disorder, my goodness, don't you think he would know that these kinds of longings and testings would come up from time to time? Freaking out is not a therapeutic response. Telling your patient that you sit around in your underwear and used to clean naked is HIGHLY inappropriate, no matter how much questioning the patient does. And telling you that this is YOUR "BPD" issue is really not helpful. Using a diagnosis as a weapon or shield is not helpful. Sure, he may have felt anxious or nervous finding out you've been curious and dealing with the testing of boundaries, etc. Having normal human feelings is allowed in therapists, But the key thing is that therapists are supposed to be able to process their own feelings and not have them interfere with doing or saying what would be therapeutic for the patient, arent' they? Just because he gets a twinge of fear about you or anyone else knowing personal stuff about him doesn't mean he should be wielding a diagnosis as a weapon to blame you and therefore protect himself!!! A diagnosis is only as good as its ability to guide good treatment, not as a label to wonk someone with because you're mad at them for testing your personal boundaries.
Accusing you of boundary crossing for looking him up on the internet while he can't see all of his boundary violations by telling you inappropriate stuff about himself is classic "crazy making". Give me a break. If the info is published out there for the whole world to see, it stands to reason that a curious patient might look it up. But it isn't on the internet that he cleans naked or sits around the house in his underwear. So why the heck did he tell you that? And why can't he see that he is just feeding your curiosity more?
ARGHHH!!
This really bothers me because it doesn't seem he is skilled enough to deal with this in a way that will help you and not hurt you.
poster:noa
thread:304110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/304932.html