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Re: Sorry if eyes go buggy, doozie here!

Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2004, at 5:37:14

In reply to Re: Sorry if eyes go buggy, doozie here!, posted by pegasus on January 25, 2004, at 22:04:45

Karen_Kay,

Thanks for reassuring me about posting.

Your latest post really explained stuff for me. One of the things we are taught in school is that self-disclosure should only be done for a specific, therapeutic reason. We are cautioned to always ask ourselves first, "is this for me or for the client?" I know I have been guilty of too much self-disclosure in the past that was more for my own gratification than for the client's benefit. (Although I am much too repressed to ever disclose anything sexual...not even to my T yet.) But it seems like your T had reasons for what he said.

So I feel a little better about your T now that you have explained. It still seems like a very fine line that exists between you two, one that would be easy to cross. I agree with Catmom, that keeping the therapeutic frame consistent is SO important, and your T may be somewhat inconsistent. I also think the 10:30 pm phone call is questionable.

You've really got a lot to deal with here. But only you and your T can ever really know what the relationship is like. One thing I rely on is my gut. Does your gut say that he is crossing boundaries too often? Is it affecting your wellbeing?

I give you a lot of credit for your coping with this and use of support. I hope that a frank talk with your T will help smooth out some of the inconsistencies so you can concentrate on you more and less on his behavior.

BTW, I googled my name. Lots of porn star sites. I guess I'm famous! Pretty ironic, considering some of my hangups!

Take care,
gg

 

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