Posted by noa on January 24, 2004, at 8:56:41
In reply to Re: Thanks all :) » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on January 23, 2004, at 3:25:06
I agree with Dinah--it is very normal to be upset that he reacted the way he did. And you didn't do anything wrong.
Sure, maybe you do want to work on your impulsivity. ANd maybe your curiosity is vulnerable to becoming more obsessive. Fine. Those might be issues to work on, but you need to know that it is also normal to be curious about your therapist, and to feel strong longing feelings and wanting to be with him.
And although it might be normal and human of him to get nervous at the idea of someone knowing where he lives, etc. but he needs to work that out for himself, not act it out against you. It is his issue that he so naively thought he could be totally invisible just because his wife has another name. And like others have said, he could have an unlisted number or have it listed without the street address, just the town or city.
Not to mention that he hasn't acknowledged that your feelings have been hurt by his reactions.
So now you are taking the blame. I think it's great to have turned it into wanting to work on some of the issues you mentioned, but please don't take the blame. I think you were manipulated into taking the blame.
poster:noa
thread:304110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/304940.html