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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 51 to 75 of 125. Go back in thread:
Posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:42:46
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by alexandra_k on October 10, 2005, at 20:32:44
I've never heard of the F-spot. I haven't played with the G-spot for a while either. Lately it's like all I want to do is release some tension. Isn't that supposed to be more of a male trait? Do you guys ever just do it to release tension, like, the faster you get off the better?
Oh, dear.
Posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:48:17
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:36:50
> But I'm right-handed and the left just doesn't get it, it's like try to write with the left hand, I can't do it
I agree Susan, I can't use my L hand for this either. ; )
>>But the one thing I really don't like is after a short while, I go numb.
I think that's a legitimate question, worthy of some advice. I would guess you're long in the torso, so it's a reach, which puts a strain on your arm/hand? That's my guess at what's causing the numbness. Maybe try some different positions, to try to take the stress off of the arm? That's the best I"ve got, I think.
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:59:02
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » fairywings, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:41:02
> This is also acceptable in the right context, and I don't think we are out of line in discussing this issue. We're allowed. We're not doing anything bad, we're not hurting anybody, and we're simply sharing good information that is helpful.
**Put the triggers in there, just in case**
I agree, and I think women NEED to talk to other women about this kind of stuff. Sexuality is perfectly natural, satisfying our own urges has really gotten a bad wrap and that's a shame. If some women are comfortable talking about it, then more power to us, we should support eachother; knowing that others won't be comfortable with it, and that's okay too. I've come a long way since I was raped when I was 14. I didn't like sex or anything that had to do with sexuality. Now it's just such a part of me, a part that I love, and am comfortable with. Of course, I don't go announcing it to the neighbors or anything, but talking about it to others of like mind is good.
Do you have an electric vibrator? Because my battery-powered one makes so much darn noise I feel like the whole neighbourhood can hear it. Sigh.No, mine is battery operated. I know about the noise issue. On www.goodvibrations.com they have them rated by noise level and strength. Mine has a good strength, and is on the quieter side. If I turn on a CD at a low level no one can hear the vibrator.
You said you were getting a new one, right? Maybe consider checking out the noise level before you buy.
Good luck!
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 23:07:16
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:42:46
> I've never heard of the F-spot. I haven't played with the G-spot for a while either. Lately it's like all I want to do is release some tension. Isn't that supposed to be more of a male trait? Do you guys ever just do it to release tension, like, the faster you get off the better?
> Oh, dear.
LOL, I think it's just that everyone's always KNEW that guys do it, and it's expected! I think women do it, and just don't talk about it, and won't admit it. Of course, some of us have a higher sex drive, and need more "attention", and some women have a lower sex drive, and don't want to be bothered with the real thing, let alone self stimulation. I think it just has to do with our hormone levels, and, like you said anxiety level - mine's high too, and I blow off steam this way too. Better than road rage! LOL
I guess some ppl wouldn't consider it to be very feminine, but neither is being b*tchy because you're h*rny as all get out and have no release! Don't worry about it - guys scratch their b*lls and belch at will; we just try to be more "socially acceptable" about what comes naturally! ; )fw
Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:31:51
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » alexandra_k, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:36:50
> But I'm right-handed and the left just doesn't get it, it's like try to write with the left hand, I can't do it, only this isn't writing it's a heck of a lot more frustrating. But the one thing I really don't like is after a short while, I go numb. Anybody else have that problem? What'm I doing wrong???
Is the numbness in your hand/arm, or elsewhere?
If it’s your hand or your arm, perhaps you might try varying your speed or stroke. Going slower might help. Also alternating hands… I think most people can learn to do it left-handed, but often it requires a different technique. For example, perhaps try going much slower but keep the rhythm as steady as possible.
If you find your genitals go numb you might try using plenty of lube. Actually, that might work for numbness in the hand as well.
Not that I’m an expert or anything…
Tamar
Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:43:57
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by Susan47 on October 12, 2005, at 22:38:27
> What did you use to find your G-spot, then?
Just a fairly average vibrator. No bunny ears or anything. It’s kind of … how can I put this… not too hard; it’s squeezeable. I’m sure there’s a proper term for it. Anyway, apparently it’s supposed to feel a bit more like a real penis.
> I found mine with my own fingers, I wouldn't want to put anything else in there, I tried and it isn't nice.
I still haven’t found it with my fingers, and I know where to look now! Maybe my fingers are too short...
> Unless they were His fingers ... ;0
Yes indeed…
Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 6:50:26
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:31:51
> If you find your genitals go numb you might try using plenty of lube. Actually, that might work for numbness in the hand as well.I'd never used lube b4, and it's so awesome, a whole different feel. We use Liquid Silk, which I/we love. It's good for using on your man too, makes things nice and slippery! ; )
>
> Not that I’m an expert or anything…LOL Oh yeah right, quit being so modest.
We should all collaborate on a book! ; ) Make some money off of our boldness.
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 8:27:58
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:43:57
> > What did you use to find your G-spot, then?
>
>
> I still haven’t found it with my fingers, and I know where to look now! Maybe my fingers are too short...
I think most ppl think it's down farther than it is, once you get inside the vagina (sorry) just hook your finger around a bit, just below the urethra, and it's a rougher area that's kind of round, and gets swollen when you're excited. I don't get too much of a thrill just stimulating that, but once an O starts, the stimulation between the clitoris and G-spot is good. That's the real beauty of "getting to know yourself", don't you think? You get to know your own hot spots and what works best.Sorry to be so graphic, hope I didn't offend anyone.
fw
Posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 23:07:16
> > I've never heard of the F-spot. I haven't played with the G-spot for a while either. Lately it's like all I want to do is release some tension. Isn't that supposed to be more of a male trait? Do you guys ever just do it to release tension, like, the faster you get off the better?
Hmmm... there has to be a LOT of tension! ;) Most of the time I'd say no... though sometimes if I can't sleep I do become sleepy afterward, so I guess maybe that is about tension. But I guess I don't feel that need for speed you refer to.
> LOL, I think it's just that everyone's always KNEW that guys do it, and it's expected! I think women do it, and just don't talk about it, and won't admit it.
...
> I guess some ppl wouldn't consider it to be very feminine, but neither is being b*tchy because you're h*rny as all get out and have no release!Well, not that most of us guys spend a lot of time talking about it, either. I think one huge difference is that, whether for cultural or biological reasons, women typically take longer to learn to do it. So for us guys it's not such a big deal, you're on a hair trigger as an adolescent and there are few apparent mysteries (except for the opposite sex).
There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"
As for "femininity," I suppose under some ideas about what is and is not "feminine" it may not be. But - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this - I think a woman seeking pleasure is more feminine in a natural sense of the word than a woman who suppresses that side of herself. It's beyond me how any man would prefer a "cold fish" to a woman who masturbates...
Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 15:25:25
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **graphic** » Tamar, posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 8:27:58
> I think most ppl think it's down farther than it is, once you get inside the vagina (sorry) just hook your finger around a bit, just below the urethra, and it's a rougher area that's kind of round, and gets swollen when you're excited. I don't get too much of a thrill just stimulating that, but once an O starts, the stimulation between the clitoris and G-spot is good. That's the real beauty of "getting to know yourself", don't you think? You get to know your own hot spots and what works best.
Thanks for the info! Perhaps I’ll give it a try… (blush blush)
Tamar
Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 15:38:54
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **graphic** » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 15:25:25
Posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 15:40:28
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13
> Hmmm... there has to be a LOT of tension! ;) Most of the time I'd say no... though sometimes if I can't sleep I do become sleepy afterward, so I guess maybe that is about tension. But I guess I don't feel that need for speed you refer to.
It’s good to get a man’s input on this stuff…
> Well, not that most of us guys spend a lot of time talking about it, either. I think one huge difference is that, whether for cultural or biological reasons, women typically take longer to learn to do it. So for us guys it's not such a big deal, you're on a hair trigger as an adolescent and there are few apparent mysteries (except for the opposite sex).
I used to talk about it to my male friends when I was a teenager, before I had any idea of how to do it myself. I was very curious about how guys do it. It turned out there were a lot of different methods!
> There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"
I think the same is probably true for women, at least to some extent.
> As for "femininity," I suppose under some ideas about what is and is not "feminine" it may not be. But - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this - I think a woman seeking pleasure is more feminine in a natural sense of the word than a woman who suppresses that side of herself. It's beyond me how any man would prefer a "cold fish" to a woman who masturbates...
Nicely put! Yeah, I agree. And apparently many women don’t like the idea of their partner masturbating. They seem to think if a man’s getting sex with a woman he shouldn’t be having sex by himself as well. But I think the idea of a man who finds pleasure in his own body is much more appealing than a man who never explores his sexuality except with a partner…
Posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 15:53:38
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13
>
> Hmmm... there has to be a LOT of tension! ;) Most of the time I'd say no... though sometimes if I can't sleep I do become sleepy afterward, so I guess maybe that is about tension. But I guess I don't feel that need for speed you refer to.Oh caraher, I love it when you jump in on these things! You're so funny, and honest too, that's good. It's just not fair that men can't be multi-orgasmic. Well I guess they CAN with some work, but I guess it's not the "norm" is it?
>
> Well, not that most of us guys spend a lot of time talking about it, either. I think one huge difference is that, whether for cultural or biological reasons, women typically take longer to learn to do it.I think some of that is the stigma, and some of that is that a woman's body is more complicated. I mean with a guy, it's just kind of there! With a woman, you have to explore different areas to find what feels best where.
>
> There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"Oh see, I think that's what we all need to get over. Quit beating ourselves UP about it. It's not like we say, "here I am cooking this dinner (or insert anything else we do regularly that's acceptable) again, what a loser!"
>
> As for "femininity," I suppose under some ideas about what is and is not "feminine" it may not be. But - and I'm sure I'm not alone in this - I think a woman seeking pleasure is more feminine in a natural senseYeah, I guess you're right, and from what I understand men think it's a turn on. Not that I'd want to do that, because I'm too inhibited, but ............
fw
Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:44:27
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:48:17
Oops, nope, I was talking about the Vibrator, CW, making me numb. Hahahahahaha, CW, I like that.
Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:48:49
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **triggers**, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 22:59:02
> > This is also acceptable in the right context, and I don't think we are out of line in discussing this issue. We're allowed. We're not doing anything bad, we're not hurting anybody, and we're simply sharing good information that is helpful.
>
> **Put the triggers in there, just in case**
>
> I agree, and I think women NEED to talk to other women about this kind of stuff. Sexuality is perfectly natural, satisfying our own urges has really gotten a bad wrap and that's a shame. If some women are comfortable talking about it, then more power to us, we should support eachother; knowing that others won't be comfortable with it, and that's okay too. I've come a long way since I was raped when I was 14. I didn't like sex or anything that had to do with sexuality. Now it's just such a part of me, a part that I love, and am comfortable with. Of course, I don't go announcing it to the neighbors or anything, but talking about it to others of like mind is good.I was raped, as well. I was 18, and right now for some reaSon I can only think of the one time, but I know there were two. Maybe I just don't want to remember. Yeah, I felt like I was supposed to enjoy sex, and for a while I did, but something happened and I ended up letting myself be used.
>
> Do you have an electric vibrator? Because my battery-powered one makes so much darn noise I feel like the whole neighbourhood can hear it. Sigh.
>
> No, mine is battery operated. I know about the noise issue. On www.goodvibrations.com they have them rated by noise level and strength. Mine has a good strength, and is on the quieter side. If I turn on a CD at a low level no one can hear the vibrator.
>
> You said you were getting a new one, right? Maybe consider checking out the noise level before you buy.
> Good luck!Yes, I think my next one will be electric though, no more battery-powered babies for me, one's enough and I'll just keep CW until he wears down.
>
>
Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:51:15
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 12, 2005, at 23:07:16
Thank you for sharing that, Fairywings. I used to think I was really masculine for that, for wanting the release. I guess I don't like that part of me. It helps to know that others do it as well, for tension.
Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:53:11
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:31:51
If I have to go to all that trouble, I don't bother, because it isn't worth it. It's the vibrator that causes numbness, not the hand, not the hand. The hand is attached to the arm which has an elbow somewhere in the middle and that is what hurts. Tennis elbow, and they wonder why people get it so much ...
Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:57:26
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 13, 2005, at 5:43:57
Yes, His fingers are nice and long, lovely absolutely gorgeous, beautiful hands. I hate that they're attached to Him. But the again, they're probably just lovely because of the way I feel. Attached t someone else, they're probably average hands.
Or maybe not.
I drive myself nuts with this thinking. Enough. So, okay, I'Ve seen women in one movie using this jelly-like vibrator, I think it was a vibrator not a dildo, but what's a dildo like, anybody used one of those? Anyway, it was soft and I could see that feeling kind of like the real thing. I don't get it, though, for me, penetration still has to have a person attached.
Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 22:06:55
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by caraher on October 13, 2005, at 11:29:13
So nice to hear from a male. Okay, you said this,
There is still something of a stigma to it for men in that if it is your *sole* source of release you're "less of a man" somehow. "Here I am, doing this again - what a loser!"I know the stigma you're referring to, it's like a macho male thing to have a woman or even more than one, accessible. But I think the real men are the ones who can take care of their own needs without taking advantage of anyone else, without putting out false feelings just to get laid. So, a lot of un-macho, loser men DO get laid. What a stupid stigma, and women have it too, don't kid yourself. We have the same stigma. It isn't really right.
Posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 22:12:41
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS, posted by fairywings on October 13, 2005, at 15:53:38
psst, what're you too inhibited to do?
Hey, Tamar, you said this "I think some of that is the stigma, and some of that is that a woman's body is more complicated. I mean with a guy, it's just kind of there! With a woman, you have to explore different areas to find what feels best where."
I'm finding out that there's a lot of different things different men like, as well. I wonder how many guys have explored that with women, or how many women really know what makes their men tick, and I wonder sometimes, 'cause I know men say sometimes that masturbating and getting off on their own is a lot less stressful than having to do the whole sexual routine with a woman. Funny, I used to feel that way about sex with the ex. I'd pretend I was going to sleep, or wasn't interested, and he was a night owl so he'd always stay up late, and meanwhile I'd be making myself happy. If he knew that, he would've wanted to get right in there, and sex with him just wasn't as exciting as sex by myself! Whew.
>
Posted by fairywings on October 14, 2005, at 0:59:12
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **triggers** » fairywings, posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:48:49
> I was raped, as well. I was 18, and right now for some reaSon I can only think of the one time, but I know there were two. Maybe I just don't want to remember. Yeah, I felt like I was supposed to enjoy sex, and for a while I did, but something happened and I ended up letting myself be used.That's the bad stuff. It doesn't have anything to do with sex or sexuality, but unfortunately it all gets mixed up because it's our intimate parts that get harmed.
As far as the loss of time, I know how that is, I was in two really bad car accidents, two years apart, and I can never remember which came first, adn I have no idea what happened in between them. That time is all just a blur to me.
>
> Yes, I think my next one will be electric though, no more battery-powered babies for me, one's enough and I'll just keep CW until he wears down.You know what they say, "Whatever turns you on!" ; )
fw
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Tamar on October 14, 2005, at 12:19:38
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on October 13, 2005, at 21:53:11
> It's the vibrator that causes numbness
In that case, I really think you should try lube.
Also, don't press too hard with the vibrator... and keep it moving. You might also need a lower speed. If you start to go numb, stop and wait a few minutes and the feeling should come back.
Still not an expert...
Tamar
Posted by Susan47 on October 16, 2005, at 11:31:10
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS **triggers**, posted by fairywings on October 14, 2005, at 0:59:12
The loss of time? God, I've lost thirty years or more.
I can't believe I lived in such a real dream world.
It was all my own making, and most of the time I was so messed up, so f*cked up in my ability to get along in life, that the dream's now almost totally, completely forgotten. My life is pretty much a blank right now. Only the present seems to be real, and my dreams. My dreams right now're somehow affecting most of my waking moods. I'm so f*cked up, I can't believe it, but at the same time, I'm getting emdr, I need to quit 'cause cannot afford it right now, need to keep going, need to talk, need to cry and laugh, laugh a lot ... I need so much right now, and have pretty much very few places to turn, because I prefer it that way, I prefer my own company.
Sighing heavily,
Your friend, Susan. BTW, thanks for listening. I don't know what happens to our brains when we're, I guess traumatized is a word, but it seems like a big one. Do you find yourself minimizing what happened? I think I do, to the point I blanked it all out and then when it popped up, I just got to thinking, Oh, yeah.
Posted by Susan47 on October 16, 2005, at 11:57:51
In reply to Re: VIBRATORS » Susan47, posted by Tamar on October 14, 2005, at 12:19:38
> > It's the vibrator that causes numbness
>
> In that case, I really think you should try lube.
>
> Also, don't press too hard with the vibrator... and keep it moving. You might also need a lower speed. If you start to go numb, stop and wait a few minutes and the feeling should come back.
>
> Still not an expert...
>
> Tamar
>
I did try lube, it's great but didn't do anything for numbness. Regarding lube, actually, I have a super femme personal query and I know you guys have answers, if you want to share. Nobody knows us so we should be okay, right? So here's the question, when you're super active sexually and you're, like, in the middle of your day and you suddenly think you wet your pants but you know you didn't, and all this post-orgasmic fluid comes suddenly gushing out all at once, and you have to actually go and change your panties AND YOUR PANTS.. don't you kind of feel like a little kid who's done something naughty? Also, how did all that stuff stay in there so long AND I never knew women could produce that much fluid. Really. Esp. when the G-spot, that seems to be a Huge manufacturer of sexual fluid. But having this happen hours after sex, and I mean, it's all mine, right, no man involved ... and having to change clothing, I mean, Really. Really, how strange. It's like, oops I better be discreet or my secret will be Out.
It's, like, when you're breast-feeding and overfull and having your breasts leak in public, suddenly there's this incredibly powerful thing happen to your body and you have No Control.Discovered I'm multiply orgasmic AND I have this ability, which I read about but never knew I could ever get to, to delay my orgasms and play with my excitement level, I can make the O laSt longer and longer if I want to, or make it happen Now .. I love this, I love it because I've never had it before and it's a great new toy and it's ME. Do you guys feel that way? Lots of women have had this all their life, and excuse me, but you're just a cause for me to be super Jealous and feeling like that little girl I really was, who was never getting the point, never good enough and always left out :). Question for the girls and boys too if there's any reading or into replying.. so how long can you make your O last? I haven't actually timed it but I think mine's about 40 sec, somebody here can make it last, like, an hour. Remember reading that? Rod, I think. Rod. Hah, appropriate name. :)
Tamar, thanks for the advice about keeping it moving, I figured that out too, yesterday. Actually I think a couple of things were happening, I seem to have gotten past it yesterday, what it was is as you were saying, I wasn't keeping it moving, and I learned it's better sometimes from the side, or the top, the top when it vibe is hitting the pubic symphisis at the same time as what feels like maybe part of the clitoral root, well, that's pure heavy, Baby.
Okay, enough smutty talk. Sorry. I also discovered, and now this is about Orgasms, okay? So don't freak out and be warned if you're still reading, but yesterday I discovered so many things.
I had one of those epiphanies, those realizations that happen sometimes when you're super-relaxed and meditative and focussed.
And I was having sex, and suddenly really enjoying it for my own body, feeling like my body is loaded with what I was thinking of almost as sexual Fruit .. how my breasts are full, you know, thank God they feel good to touch, they having something inside them. Anyway, they're sexy, I'm looking at the skin details too, if you know what I mean, and I'm thinking, what a beautiful colour and gorgeous shape and it feels so soft and silky yet hard and sexy too. And I've never let myself think that way before.
And this memory of being about four years old suddenly came, and I came to a sudden realization of something and it was something I'd been working on in my EMDR therapy, and BANG there it was, a detail we hadn't even discussed in the therapy because it was so deep I never had acknowledged this to myself, and so much of my sexual life suddenly made sense.
Don't we have a Sexuality Board? Because this is ridiculous.
Posted by Susan47 on October 16, 2005, at 13:03:49
In reply to Re: Relationship with Myself .. May Trigger, Sex » Susan47, posted by fairywings on September 17, 2005, at 23:26:36
Yes, the thing that bothers me about the one Candida Royale that I have, is out of like six events, they only show the male's genitalia I think twice. It's a bit too cheesy, like you said, but sometimes that soft distance is just right, just what you want.
But when you're feeling a bit raunchier, it's just unsatisfying. If I had to choose from one or another type of movie, though, it'd be the Royales over the rougher ones that dehumanize women a bit, and sometimes more than a bit .. making his c*ck centre stage all the way through, those are just, to me, male ego trips, and I can't stand that b*llshit with the guys coming all over the girl's faces? Excuse me, that's sexy? How? What is it about some men and their jism (yeah, an adolescent term for what seems like an adolscent attitude???) And girls choking on men's c*cks. That's not sexy, that's disgusting. You've gotta be really careful what you watch, that's what I found out.
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