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Re: little bit of pain...

Posted by Estella on May 15, 2006, at 4:37:23

In reply to Re: little bit of pain..., posted by Estella on May 15, 2006, at 4:32:59

and i think what you are supposed to do...
is find someone to look after you
a husband or something.

but that would never work for me
'cause i'm too scared of people
and i'm too scared of myself
and as i felt safer in the world...
i'd probably grow to resent the person anyway
resent not having my freedom
and so either way...
and it would be for the wrong reasons...
and i can't figure whether most people get married for the wrong reasons...
or whether most people just attach to people better.
some people seem to go from relaitonship to relaitonship
and me... i don't
too scared i guess
too scared of intimacy
too scared of being alone
there is nothing to be done.

and the body is old and disgusting and repulsive anyway
and i'm no good at social chatter
and who would want me?
i wouldn't
not for worlds
i just want to go to sleep...


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poster:Estella thread:644153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060331/msgs/644156.html