Posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2006, at 3:08:32
In reply to Re: hmm, posted by alexandra_k on January 20, 2006, at 3:02:45
it is the waiting..
everything is on hold until i hear about accomodation.
and they send you emails every five minutes about how to look for rental properties and co and so the accomodation situation is not looking optimistic.
and i can't bring myself to do anything until i know
because i'm f*cking hopeless without the security of where i'm staying (me spending so very much time in my room and all)
and so things are on hold.
and i don't know what will happen if nothing happens except that i just want to cry and i don't want to do this anymore and am i going to mess up right at the very start???
what the f*ck is wrong with me?????
sometimes i really do hate myself.
and the point that i have to deal with my parents over this...
an dthe point that they are going to make the most of their power about now...
and the point that my mother is winding herself up for a right drama about now...and i don't know.
i hope the sun is shining tomorrow...
being numb...
it still hurts.
dull ache
but sometimes...
the dull ache seems to be all there is
and will this ever stop
and is death my only hope
?
i don't know what i'm talking about
poster:alexandra_k
thread:600485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051205/msgs/600977.html