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Re: I can't Remember » Susan47

Posted by Damos on March 31, 2005, at 17:55:19

In reply to I can't Remember, posted by Susan47 on March 31, 2005, at 13:38:28

Dearest Susan,

There are times I can't remember Michelle's face (Katie's mum) either, and if you're feeling anything close to the way that makes me feel then I am sorry, just so very sorry. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t I've done it now. There's so much I wanted to tell you, but I just can't open those doors any further, I just can't. Can't afford to admit those thoughts, accept those truths, feel that pain. Too late, damn, damn, damn. Never ever heard her say "I love you" or even "I loved you once" or anything even close. Not once in 20+ years of knowing each other, nothing, not even sure I was ever even there or that any of it exists beyond my imagination and twisted memories. But I can't not love her, cause at times it's all I am. At others its all that keeps me alive. Can't and don't trust myself on so many levels in so many ways. My heart is breaking for you Susan, just want to wrap my arms around you and cry with you till there's no more tears to come.

((((((Susan47))))))

 

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