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Re: Familiar vs the unknown Anti and » beatrix34

Posted by 2ndXround on July 17, 2004, at 4:15:52

In reply to Re: Familiar vs the unknown, posted by beatrix34 on July 11, 2004, at 21:30:53

Hi
I hope you are both doing good.
I am having a hard time staying clean...surprise. My older daughter (22) called me, crying, asking me to come get her. This is not the first time. She has been living with her boyfriend for almost 2 years. He is 35 has no job and is using drugs...while she is still at rehab 4 days a week and gets drug tested every week. I would say 'He beat her up" but the beating was mutual. I have never hit or slapped anyone in my life and I can't understand why they stay together. They both have black eyes and bruises....and I am having trouble feeling sorry for her. Instead I feel guilty...that I did something wrong as a mother and that is why she is in the relationship. She has a choice...right? She is the one who brought guns, drugs and people who belong in jail to our house and let them steal from us. She says she did nothing wrong...she blames me for allowing them to get away with it. I said I am to blame only for trusting her too much....but inside I feel she is right. I feel guilty...I'm her mother..I am supposed to protect her ... I should have known what to do.
Sorry....so she is staying at our house...and that means I have to give up my own bedroom and sleep with my hubby....talk about stress!!!
By the way....although I am hurt and angry at what she has done...I love her dearly....and she is not aware of my anger. I have always kept my pain and anger inside...and pretended everything was fine. I have made a fantastic door mat over the years.
I wonder if it is OK to let some of my anger out now. Let her know I am hurt and angry at her. She is 22, not a child. I don't want to hurt her...but it might help me if I can get some of this anger out. Less stress on me...but I don't want to hurt her!!!
What do you think? Should I stop protecting her at my expense???
Thanks for any help.


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poster:2ndXround thread:363611
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/367068.html