Posted by antigua on July 10, 2004, at 15:25:40
In reply to Re: 2ndXround...you ok? beatrix antigua » antigua, posted by 2ndXround on July 7, 2004, at 23:59:06
I'm really happy to hear from you. Remember, try not to be too hard on yourself because, as you say, you can end up using that as an excuse as well. For me, it doesn't really matter what excuse I use--if I want to use, I will. Usually I'm not even conscious of making the decision--I guess my mind is already made up and I think there's no use arguing. I really wish I understood it better--and understood how I make that decision to leap off the edge despite what I know it will do to me.
I recently met someone else whose situation is somewhat similar to yours. She was clean for 16 years and one day she simply went back to it. She denies there is a reason, it's just that she decided she wants to. I don't know how to help her. Do you have any words of wisdom?
On the lighter side (as if $450K is the "lighter" side, my husband made me meet him at the bank to sign for a $150K loan. He's bought another house and I sure as H@LL hope he knows what he's doing because my signature makes me liable as well and he makes so much money than I do!)
Is there any small change you can make in your marriage situation? Do you really not want to leave or are you afraid to leave? I certainly am not judging you; I have no idea what I would do in your situation. All I do know is that for me, the longer I remain sober the better I feel and the more confidence I have in myself and my abilities. Now if my husband tries to guilt me for something he "thinks" I've done I just tell him he's being ridiculous. My sobriety is too important to me now and I will not let him sabotage it (which he does on a regular basis, IMO).
Take care,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:363611
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040604/msgs/364778.html