Posted by Mr Cushing on December 16, 2002, at 8:46:47
In reply to Re: Bohemian-yet-shy guy w/mental ill., seeks s.f. :-) » Mr Cushing, posted by jay on December 16, 2002, at 1:44:39
Yeah, it makes sense, but I was going into cycles for a VERY loooooooong time. Like I told my 2 best friends that I was diagnosed as being Bi-Polar and explained to them what it was and what they thought about it. Both of them were like ooooh... that explains a LOT. One of them was a girl and she's like, yeah, one moment you would absolutely love me, you could tell just by your voice, the way you looked at me, the things you would do for me... then the next day, or even later on that day, you were the complete opposite, ice cold and just couldn't care whatsoever. And my other friend, a guy, could bring up cycles that I was having (that I totally agree with him, were cycles) back when I was 12 years old. So when I say that I feel like a complete other person now, it's basically true. When you're used to bumping between extremes on the regular, and now you're pretty much stabilized around the middle, where you should be, it makes a BIG difference.As for my goals in life and stuff... You're a Social Worker so you've probably seen enough drama at work to last you a lifetime... I've lived through quite a lot of that myself. I believe that just about everything traumatic that could happen to a person I've either experienced first hand or helped another close friend get through. So, I tend to take things a day at a time now. At the moment, my goal is to get as stable as possible and be able to function with a "full life" again in the near future. After that, *shrugs*, We'll just see what grabs my attention. I'm lucky enough that I was able to complete a fairly decent education before my 'condition' became too severe, so now I'm pretty much free to work wherever I want, IF that's what I want to do. I find that it's easier to accomplish your goals if you just break them down into really small portions anyways. Like instead of focusing on something that could possibly take years to complete, take the smallest chunk off of that, something that might take a few months but that is absolutely essential in reaching your main goal, and start doing that today.
Oh, and I can totally relate to your search for that "special" kind of love instead of going through those "one night stands". Personally, I had one "one night stand" in my life and even though it took care of my sexual urges, it made me feel like complete dung afterwards. It's hard to find that "special" kind of love though. Since I haven't been feeling too together now for a little bit, I'd say that I've been single for almost two years now. But that's alright because I'm able to feel happy and complete by myself. When you find a special person that you want to be with long-term, that person is really just an extension on to who you really are. If you're not happy with yourself, how are you supposed to be happy with somebody else? For me anyways, it's best to learn to be happy with yourself first and then bring somebody "special" into your life. So even though I've been single now for a VERY long time... I'm not really all that lonely. I can entertain myself rather easily and sometimes the best times that I have are when I'm left alone with my thoughts.
Peace,
Mike
poster:Mr Cushing
thread:33356
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33409.html