Posted by jay on December 16, 2002, at 2:19:49
In reply to Re: Bohemian-yet-shy guy w/mental ill., seeks s.f. :-), posted by bookgurl99 on December 15, 2002, at 22:46:31
> Dude, I have totally been in that crying-on-my-bed, feeling sorry for myself, wondering what's wrong with me state. I feel for you.
Thank you...and you know, I think lonliness (especially the existential, passionate type) is beyond the self...it's also sadness and tears for life and the world around you.
> Most guys I meet who can't meet girls seem to be lookin' in the wrong places -- work, for example. I'm not gonna get all cliche and tell you to join classes or a club or something, but I can say that if you get busy -- if you can find the energy to do more than just go to work and then veg out in front of the tv -- you'll sort of cast a 'wider net.'No..that is excellent, practical advice! I've formed a few good 'friendships' with some females I have considered taking (risking!!) to the next 'level' ..and asking for a date...and I have taken my time with it, often into years. I do lead a fairly social life...and besides I hate t.v., and have my 'moments of engagement' with many folks from work, to play (whether it's my return to university..or hanging at the coffee bar..or the gym..or yoga classes.)
> BTW, last time I was sad and crying I read "If the Buddha Dated" . I did an exercise the book suggested where you write down everything you're looking for. I didn't realize it at the time, but within 3 months I met the girl that fit the description. (And in an unusual way -- I read for a blind couple, and she drove for them.) Universal incantations coming to life, or coincidence, you decide. But it's something that could keep your mind off the lonely a li'l bit longer.Hey, I *love* the constructive idea of writting down the true qualities of what you are looking for in a soulmate. I have a little home studio I write and record music in that helps me work 'through' what my needs of the soul are calling out for. Music is VERY theraputic for me..as it is many. I am actually thinking of bringing an instrument down to a local coffee house, and just jamin' with various souls I meet.
For myself, looking for a female partner, there are many excellent female musicians and artists, and is a characteristic I find very attractive. I think, though, women are attracted to my more thoughtful, sensitive side (my anima, my female 'counterpart' in my soul..I believe Jung said...which on a basic level I find interesting....especially since ALL male/females have the anima/animus female/male archtypes in us.) I also love to hear from woman what *female* qualities they find attractive. Thankfully, many women are very open about this, and for yourself who is in love with another woman, it's feedback like this that is invaluable to males looking for a female partner. I think that may be a reason I have more female then male friends, but damn..I need some o dat thang called 'courage' to take the risk and open myself to rejection. Obviously, a tough thing for a depressed, anxious person..lol..:-)
> *hugs*
>
> bookgurl99Thanks SOOO kindly..and I hope all is smooth with you in the 'love' dept. Very sadly, some people's homophobia can be damaging, but if the guys and gals out there learn't to accept what is just a simple fact of reality, hell, we can ALL learn from each other!
Peace, and warm hugs,
Jay
poster:jay
thread:33356
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33401.html