Posted by jay on December 16, 2002, at 1:36:08
In reply to Re: Bohemian-yet-shy guy w/mental ill., seeks s.f. :-) » jay, posted by snowden on December 15, 2002, at 18:16:07
> I don't know about you, but I find myself holding back from dating until I am "better". However, that may never happen, but I feel it's a little deceiving or unfair to involve someone in my life if they don't know what they're getting into...
>
> Anyone understand, comprehend or disagree? If you disagree, I'd appreciate the feedback, I feel so lonely!! :) But can you understand where I'm coming from?? You're essentially taking a complete stranger into your life, possible invoking feelings by them for you, and then you have to drop this bombshell by trying to explain how you're "not all there" (for lack of a better term...)
>
> Any insights?You know, I tend to now think that my 'illness' (even though I am not quite comfortable with that term..it just doesn't fit..)is a deeper part of my character, of who I am, and how I define myself and others. It doesn't mean I go around telling people "Ohh..I am on psychiatric medication.."..etc..etc. But the last time I fell in love was during an acute period of my illness...and at the end of the 'difficulty', I was a much richer person, but I was still 'me'. My ex girlfriend knew about it all, and it really became a bit of a special bond, rather than something that can rip people apart. Whatever you do..don't consider it a 'flaw'. That is depreciating the value of the learning from all of our hurts and experiences.
I hope that makes some sense, but the scope of mental illness (cringe!) is a vast experience across millions of miles of the landscape of the soul. I think it can be an experience that makes us 'stronger' than what is so-called 'normal'...which I don't think I've ever seen a complete example of!
Keep the faith, even in the night of the soul
Jay
poster:jay
thread:33356
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33399.html