Posted by 64bowtie on August 23, 2005, at 3:06:11
In reply to » AdaGrace » Hmmmmmm..........., posted by 64bowtie on August 20, 2005, at 0:11:40
» AdaGrace »
Hope? I hope! Hurt? I hurt! Love? I love!
Sorry? Hmmmm..... How about, "I made a mistake and I was wrong and I obviously hurt your feelings... Don't forgive me and I won't insult you by my bad feelings of sorrow... I hereby promise to amend my behavior to never do 'it' again... Please accept my apology..."To say, "I'm sorry..." is an existential statement of how I feel... If you allow me to get away with my bad behavior by my blackmailing you with my tears, I may actually not change anything and do it all again... If, however, I ask you to accept my apology as long as I stick the plan to never do it again, you can be assured that you got your point across to me that I hurt you and you won't tolerate such behavior, especially from someone so close to you...
On another matter; you can't make him feel this way or that unless you have a computer game joystick hooked up to his a$$!!! Likewise, you can't claim he (or anyone else) can make you do anything, either!!! If he performs badly and your feelings get hurt, its still you doing the (hurt) feelings, not the other person... You can still refuse to tolerate bad behavior!!! Believe me!!! I don't/won't tolerate bad bevaior toward me by others... This is not a male trait!!! Its called declaring my boundaries...
I ask your indulgence... I repeat what I shared earlier:
<<< Basically hatred is a wasted emotion I avoid like Ebola, and the flesh-eating-staph-germs...
<<< When I let my gut run my life, I can't stop things that are bad for me either....
There are a whole bunch of emotions... Some worthless ones from my childhood that are a waste of my energy as an adult are:
* hatred
* fear (freezes the feet)
* I should/don't (something imperative)
* obligation/expectation
* dissatisfaction (infantile in origin) leads to grumbling, griping, complaining, and gossip!!!
....just to name a few...Thanx for responding... I do care about you and how this all turns out for you...
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:543134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/545555.html