Posted by gardenergirl on August 24, 2005, at 19:44:16
In reply to » AdaGrace » Don't ever give up your power..., posted by 64bowtie on August 24, 2005, at 4:18:57
You might express your hurt to him using "I" statements such as "I feel hurt (or disrespected or angry or neglected...insert feeling word here) when you do X"...(insert behavior here).
Often a person will be more apt to change a behavior when the "injured party" directly expresses the injury and links it directly to the behavior.
And if he asks you how he can change, instead of asking him to "surprise you" as Rod suggested, I would recommend you tell him exactly what you need and want, and what you will not tolerate. He can't read your mind, and he may need to be "shaped" into change. This is something you could work on together and possibly with the help of a marital counselor.
Take care,
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:543134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/546258.html