Posted by jazzed on June 26, 2005, at 9:16:46
Do you all like it when b4 sex, during and after sex your husband, wife, partner, or whatever talks erotically to you? Do they? Can they? What do you like to hear? I have a really high sex drive and my husband LOVES that. He knows that I want him all the time, and we have sex usually every other night, sometimes more sometimes less. He can be playful which is fun, and our lovemaking is always good, but there's something missing.I've introduced new stuff over the years, and he loves all of it, nothing kinky I'm not into that at all, just new playful stuff like making him into a dessert or taking it into the garden tub first, or new techniques to try. He's great and more than willing to try that kind of stuff on occasion. BUT my problem is that he can't TALK to me in bed b4, during, or after sex in a sensual way, he's just too inhibited for that. He can't tell me how good things feel, how much he loves touching me, how awesome it feels when I touch him a certain way, that he wants to do something with me, yada yada yada. I don't want him to talk dirty to me, I want him to whisper sensual, loving, erotic things in my ear before, while we make love, and after.
The last time I said something to him that I could tell REALLY turned him on was when I whispered to him to keep his eyes open while he was making love to me, he really responded physically, and the sex was really good for both of us. it's obvious to me when he's really turned on by something I say, I can tell when he's responding better than just your normal day to day lovemaking, and he can say stuff like, "OG!", but not whispering in a sexy voice stuff I want to hear. Why is that?, and is there anything I can do for him to help him be more comfortable with it?
I've tried talking to him in the way I want him to talk to me, he loves it, I've tried having him read stuff like what I want to hear, and it turns him on, but he just can't do it. Should I give up? We've been together 20 years, so you'd think he would feel more comfy with it. BTW, I'm not critical of him for it, I try to be supportive and show him, but I never tell him anything that would make him feel bad. Our sex is good, sometimes great, but there's just something missing, something I long for, desire, fantasize about. Any ideas, anyone else out there with the same issue?
He also can't tell me his fantasies. He says he doesn't have any! I just can't believe that. Well, he did tell me one, but now he won't ellaborate or anything, he's too inhibited I think. He said he fantasizes that when he's in the car, a beautiful blonde, pulls up next to him in a black convertible, she looks at him, comes on to him, and wants him. Okay, tell me more.... But, he says other than that he doesn't fantasize about anyone other than me. Is that possible? He knows I do, and it doesn't bother him. He knows my fantasies are about real ppl, not movie stars, but of course I don't tell him who because I wouldn't want to hurt him. I don't ellaborate about mine with him because I can tell he doesn't want to know any details, and he's okay with it that I have fantasies I guess because our sex life is really good. Is it possible that some ppl don't fantasize? He's not on any medication, he's a happy guy, and I know at least one other woman who would love to have him, and he knows it too, and I'm sure is flattered, but won't admit it.
Jazzy
poster:jazzed
thread:519146
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/519146.html