Posted by caraher on June 26, 2005, at 12:52:14
In reply to Talking erotically, sensually (might trigger some), posted by jazzed on June 26, 2005, at 9:16:46
I think you're trying to make a leopard change its spots. My wife is the same way and what I've found, in my case anyway, is that when she has tried to be a bit more verbal it's just plain awkward. So while there are things I'd like to hear I've concluded that's just not part of her repertoire, and that's OK.
As for the fantasies, just as you don't "name names" to him I think he's understandably reluctant to confess too much detail about his own. If you want to get into his head a little more it doesn't sound like just questioning him will do the job. When I first talked about fantasies with my wife it soon became clear that she worried that it wasn't good to be anything other than focused on one's spouse in bed. I told her I didn't mind what she thought about, especially if it meant I got to play along, and since then verbal role-playing has become a regular and reliable means of getting her "in the mood." (It's once the "action" starts that she clams up.) So anyway, if you want to know what happens after the blonde in the car goes after him perhaps you could be the blonde some evening! If that works out perhaps he'll drop some of his reservations about sharing his fantasies with you. I suppose it's possible that he doesn't have fantasies about other women... but that's also not the only kind of fantasy. There may be some about *you* that he might be less worried about sharing.
poster:caraher
thread:519146
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/519260.html