Posted by alesta on May 9, 2005, at 20:57:26
In reply to Re: Susan..or anyone who feels like rambling on... » alesta, posted by Susan47 on May 9, 2005, at 20:23:10
hehe..you're so dramatic! yes, i do understand what you're talking about concerning the true beauty of a man..absolutely. and i am not looking for a drop-dead gorgeous guy. been there, done that. it's nice to be attracted, and it doesn't take chiseled (sp.) looks to achieve that at all...i could be just as attracted to an 'average-looking guy' if he has the qualities i want...probably more attracted possibly..or attracted in a better way..i want something fulfilling, ya know..a connection..
no, i'm really not tempting fate, susan..love seriously has been really painful to me..people don't realize that i am an *extremely* feeling, sensitive, passionate person...i mean, it is not overt..it is something i feel inside me for the person..it's not that i'm like one of those chicks on the cover of romance novels lying in his arms with my shirt popping open..not overt like that..but the intense feelings i have for the person are there..i think i must produce an excessive amount of the love chemical in the brain..PEA, oxytocin, dopamine..whichever it is...b/c when i fall in love there is no one more in love than i. i don't notice any other guys than the one i'm in love with..i mean i am intense, honey. and so, (yes, i'm getting to an actual point here :)) love is always going to be painful for someone like me..you feel the intense happiness of being in love with someone, but then you feel the pain just as deeply when they disappoint you..romance is not a stable happiness..it's almost like temporary insanity, lol..for me anyway..i'm a different person when in love..i just don't want it anymore. honestly.
unless..i am willing to deal with the romance part in order to get to the 'friendship' part of the relationship...but i don't know if i really *want* a close friend to work the whole rest of my life around. i think i might be happier on my own...these are all things i need to think about. ahhh sorry susan i went on there a bit long...
poster:alesta
thread:492110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050505/msgs/495773.html