Posted by rskontos on April 18, 2008, at 11:09:35
In reply to Re: Trying to bail on the ClearSkies+ » rskontos, posted by seldomseen on April 18, 2008, at 5:34:31
There is a reason why "mother's little helper" was the nickname for Valium for many many years. Being a wife and mother is really hard (i am neither, but I can only imagine) under the best of circumstances. Add a layer of personal conflict, abuse and trauma and it's no wonder you are beginning to feel overwhelmed. It may seem like an ugly truth to you, but wouldn't anyone be tired in your position? I mean tired to the bone? I know I would.
**Seldom, I never knew where that phrase came from. Good to know and very interesting. Overwhelmed is a great term to describe my feelings and yet I am still hanging in there doing my best to continue what is expected of me. I am tired to the bone. And whether or not you have done either role, you describe it very well so you have a great imagination and great empathy. I thank you for the support. It means a great deal to me.
In my opinion, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel right now. Given your circumstances I think it is entirely appropriate.
***This means so much to me because somehow I felt my feelings were wrong and bad. So thanks to you and everyone for the validation. It is hard to not feel that your feelings are wrong somehow. Being a mom and wife are important and I cherish both but sometimes it is overwhelming.
Personally, I think you need to give yourself a whole lot of credit that you are keeping it together.
***I guess I need to do that too so I don't beat up on myself and make myself feel worse. It is something I do well. Why do we do that too ourselves. I guess it is because I heard it so much when I was so very young.
I think your friend is right, I think you need to grieve your childhood. It seems to be a necessary step in getting our lives back.
***Hard though isn't it. I know from your thread you are going through the same thing. The acceptance of what happened as a child. I could not answer your thread yet but I will. I think it is a tough thing to lament and grieve and want somehow to understand all at the same time.
I'm not sure that it is a good idea right to start looking for the hurts that may lurk in "middle earth". If they need to come out, they will (if my latest experience is any indication of how the subconscious works). You know they are there, perhaps you just need to sit with that for a while?
***yes, I am unsure what the next step is so I will await it. I am sure it will resolve itself on it own. And my T has an uncanny way of getting to the heart of it even if it makes me uncomfortable. I don't do sitting and waiting well though. I must learn patience.
thanks for peaceful sentiments. I wish them for you as well. You deserve it too for answering me in this time which I know is hard for you too. It amazings me how hardy us Babblers are to answer each other and to care so much. Thanks
to you Seldom and peace as well.rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:823812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824013.html