Posted by rskontos on April 19, 2008, at 13:27:43
In reply to Re: Another thought, posted by Phillipa on April 18, 2008, at 23:08:08
Phillipa it is interesting you ask about my vacation because the way I was on my vacation is what prompted my T to think of my issues as being partly due to my family. I am triggered by them. Because I was alone alot on my vacation. my H couldn't go at the last minute due to work and I took my son and his friend to Panama City Beach. He and his friend did the teenager thing and I did not really get along too well with his friends parents. They all had come down with friends and I guess I was one too many. Some people can't take the time to make one more friend. So I stay alone days at a time. Somedays my son and his friend stayed over a another friends place so I was really alone. And it is not like me to reach out to strangers so I spent alot of time thinking. My inners went on vacation too. I did not hear them, no flashbacks, nothing. NO dreams it was very quiet time for me. I thought alot I read, watched tv and wrote alot. A nice time. I eventually craved some human contact but it was ok. Once again I sensed something going on with the people I went to dinner once. They are not people I want to know at home. Vibes. People like me, used to knowing unspoken languages just felt uneasy with them so I left after dinner. And then the first night home, bamm everyone came back, all the voices, flashbacks etc. So that is how my T came to think I am overwhelmed with motherhood and wifedom. Because of the pressures my family expected too. I did all the stuff for my mother too. Stuff she should have done. For too long. And add to that taking care of my own family and suppression of all the early trauma it just has come up to a breaking point I think. I have been warning my family but they don't listen to you. And my family doesn't know what I am going through really. They chose to turn a deaf ear to it all.
But all in all the vacation was good. It did get a little lonely. Thanks for asking Phillipa.
The weather was nice. Warm. I am missing it right now:)
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:823812
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080405/msgs/824265.html