Posted by Dinah on February 13, 2008, at 9:43:40
In reply to Therapist Speak, posted by Daisym on February 12, 2008, at 23:10:51
I remember my therapist telling me the same thing once. That I get in these spirals where nothing he can say gets through. He admitted feeling frustrated and helpless.
And I was flabbergasted by this view. It was his steadiness when I was falling apart that was helpful. It wasn't that I was looking to him to fix it or to find the "right" thing to say. Why did he think I come more frequently when I'm in meltdown?
I somehow managed to convey this to him. That all I really needed him to say was "Everything's going to be ok." with all the conviction he can muster. And no, I might not look at him and say "Well, then, everything's ok now." But that didn't mean it wasn't helping.
He's not saying he doesn't want to hear it anymore. It's his job as therapist to try to keep the distress at a level you can tolerate and still work day to day. He said it because it was best for you, not best for him. He said it because therapy should spend enough time on coping mechanisms that the more difficult parts of therapy are bearable. He wants to do this in the way that's right for you, not for him.
Let him bring you to the therapy version of Camp Comfort for a little while.
poster:Dinah
thread:812413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/812452.html