Posted by DAisym on February 14, 2008, at 20:01:51
In reply to Re: Therapist Speak » Daisym, posted by sunnydays on February 13, 2008, at 19:44:52
Sunny,
I'm glad you posted. I'm sorry it has been hard to do that. But I get in those spaces too, where everything I write sounds awkward or silly, at least to me. I do understand what you were saying and I think there is a lot of similarity in what we are struggling with.
You described the dance very well - that balance of pushing forward with words, even through tears and allowing the space for the sadness. Questions show listening and concern but they can also be trails to other things. And something might get left behind or remain in the shadows. I think that is why we go frequently and for a long time. There are many trails to explore and lots of stops to make along the way.
"What you think you need" - yes, I can hear all the questions this would bring up for me. I want so much to be perfect and have him like me and he wants very much for me to identify my needs and figure out what the need means and how to get it met - in as healthy a way as possible. Some of my needs can never be met, which causes tremendous grief and frustration. I always remember that with kids we strive for optimal frustration - enough of a challenge that they have to stretch to achieve but not so far out of reach that they give up or fall apart. Therapy is very much the same way, I think. But the tricky part is that there are pieces and parts for some of us, and depending on what else is happening, the amout of frustration we can tolerate changes from week to week. So our therapists don't always get it right.
It is nice to know you are in the cabin across the way. Falls and I will join you, but she sort of demands ice cream - so we have to have that too. And I'm staying in my pjs all weekend, OK?
poster:DAisym
thread:812413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/812771.html