Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2008, at 20:59:53
In reply to Re: Therapist Speak » MissK, posted by DAisym on February 14, 2008, at 19:49:29
Ah yes. Therapist-speak. That I object to on principle.
My therapist and I once had a difference of opinion on whether I was a boundary breaker. He was sure I wasn't. I didn't call him excessively, contact him at home, etc. I didn't ask for anything from him that it wasn't in his power as therapist to give. I was respectful of his personal life.
I always thought I was, because in session I pushed those professional boundaries as far as I could. I did everything I could to bring him as a real, authentic person into that room. Or as he puts it, I would never settle for Therapist X and always insisted on X, the therapist. And as it happens, he thinks that's the way therapy should be anyway, so he doesn't object.
Yet we have developed a repertoire of things that he can say that I find helpful. One of them being "Everything is going to be ok." Or "Yes, everything is going to be fine." in a tone of great firmness and conviction.
It did take us some negotiating to get to that point. He always wanted to answer noncommittally, or to add qualifiers. And we came to an agreement that "in that we will keep working together on whatever is distressing" and "as far as it is in my power" or "in our relationship" would be implied if not stated. On the phone sometimes he tries to answer that in a conversational tone, especially when he's in public. But it doesn't work, and in fact backfires, if it isn't said in his "everything is going to be ok" voice. And if I ask him to please repeat it in that voice, he manages to muster it up even if he's annoyed or busy. I don't know how explains it to those around him. :)
So maybe I have mixed feelings on therapist-speak. Certain phrases may have received the Dinah stamp of approval?
poster:Dinah
thread:812413
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080210/msgs/812789.html