Posted by ElaineM on May 9, 2007, at 20:59:01
In reply to Re: Crying. Help me. » ElaineM, posted by Racer on May 8, 2007, at 15:28:33
Racer, it's nice to hear from you again.
>>>>>THAT is a betrayal of trust. I think it's worth telling her, in a return email, how you feel about this.
That's what it would feel like. I was sick all last night, could feel my stomach in my throat, and if I opened my mouth I just started bawling. If she did that I'd be beyond heart-broken. Shattered. I don't think I'd ever ever trust another human again. Why did this have to come from her?! She was so important to me :'(
I did write her an email. I was so worried about what I said in it, incase it pissed her off, or was too emotional, or I don't know what else. I don't even want to re-read it now cause I'll pick it apart and make myself even worse than I am now.
>>>>And ask her what it is about the email communication that makes her so uncomfortable?
I did ask her that. And I apoligized for anything I did to make this 180 happen. I wish I could turn back time. I don't think I would've told her the horribleness.
>>>>OK, so tell her that. "No, I don't understand. I told you my boundaries, including that I wasn't comfortable discussing much of this with my male T. It seems as though you have changed the rules, and I don't understand that. Please clarify."
I basically said what you said to. I even called the email "clarify please". [thank you for helping me with this]
>>>>>The one thing I would say is that you probably do have some behavior patterns that make it possible for this sort of thing to happen. I know I have situational and behavioral patterns that make me more vulnerable to certain sorts of things.
I guess I need to try and figure that out. I've really been trying to think about it. I've read the prior email I sent her two months ago over and over to see if it has clues. I just don't know.
Knowing you care does help. It really does. LadyT was the only female I had to talk to :( I'm grateful for your help. I don't know how to absorb any more pain right now.
blove, El
poster:ElaineM
thread:756826
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/757237.html