Posted by madeline on May 7, 2007, at 19:12:54
In reply to Completely wrung out (long) **trigger**, posted by Racer on May 6, 2007, at 21:25:44
I'm recovering from child abuse as well and one of the things that I found most difficult was holding the opposite feelings about my parents. But that's what you have to do. You just have to hold them there and let them be.
It seems to me that I just had to let which one was the most emergent have the most airtime - whether it be the needy, craving child, the rage-filled semi-adult, or the compassionate all forgiving all knowing semi-adult. They were all in there and all of them just seemed to be "right" and appropriate I guess.
To me the anxiety came in trying to just be ONE of them.
What happened to me (us) was BAD and you know what? We bought into all the bad stuff hook, line and sinker because we had no other choice. And, yes, you will have to pull it out and look at it, and grieve it and re-experience a lot of it. It'll be tough, but you will get through it.
The other side is worth it. Also, one thing that I found was when I was able to reject most of what my parents said and did I was able to "write myself".
But not only that, but discovering yourself is just darn good fun. I found stuff that I truly love to do. I never thought that was possible - but it is.
The road you are about to go down is dark and twisty, but the place at the other side is soooo worth the trip.
Maddie
ps. I went to a "cowboy" riding clinic this weekend and HAD A BLAST! I'm still sore from all the time on horseback but it was amazing!
poster:madeline
thread:756419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070505/msgs/756614.html