Posted by gazo on April 15, 2007, at 1:00:30
In reply to let's hear it for self-destruction!! ***trigger**, posted by gazo on April 14, 2007, at 0:06:21
you know? i am not very happy about some things. i do NOT enjoy being the "bad girl." My life is full of pain and if anyone wants to think i enjoy it they can come and spend some time with me and see how much fun it is.
do i enjoy posting about it? no, not really. i do get a lot out of it though. i get to re-examine things and get it out of my head and get feedback.
there really isn't anything i enjoy about it. i see irony in it. i see black humour.
You see...for all my brave words, and for all the hope i put into today... for all my good intentions and supposed insights... it's 2:49am and i just got in from the club scene. i don't need to elaborate i am sure.
and whether the criticisms of me are true or not, the pain i live in is very true. If you don't walk this road don't tell me how to.
the small victory is that i am not completely wasted... i drank an awful lot and partied and danced.. but at some point i decided i'd better go home beofre things got bad and so i did.
it hurts a lot to be criticized for doing what i do, or posting about it. i don't do this stuff to "be" some role...i just try to survive.
i stood there in a club that was packed with people of every description.. and i was very aware of how alone i was.
life is hard.
poster:gazo
thread:749671
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/749950.html