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Re: let's hear it for self-destruction!! ***trigger** » gazo

Posted by muffled on April 14, 2007, at 0:28:01

In reply to let's hear it for self-destruction!! ***trigger**, posted by gazo on April 14, 2007, at 0:06:21

I keep going cuz of my kids.
I keep goinf cuz i do have some good times.
I keep going in the hopes I can help by easing others pain.
I keep going cuz I seem to have eternal hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I keep going, cuz I don't actaully REALLY want to be dead. I just want to stop the hurting.
I keep going cuz I DUNNO what happens when you die, and I sure as sh*t don't want to rot in hell for sure if there happens to be one....

Gazo, I am an alcoholic. I don't know whether you are. I DO know that the alcohol made my mental/emotional probs better for awhile....but then it stopped working and made them so much terribly worse.
Alcohol really messes with meds....
And if you have a medical condition that can be helped with the correct meds(and no other drugs/alcohol mixed in), then thats a thing to do. Sucks, but if it helps, its worth it, cuz feeling good feels so good. Feeling OK feels so good. Feeling a little more stable feels so good.
Ending it all is not a good idea. Its a nasty business on SO many ways.....
I almost did, but I am SO glad I am here. Went thru hell for a bit, but after being in hell for so long I was pretty much used to it....but now I do OK. Still struggle, but glad I am alive, so glad I didn't pull that trigger. So if it gets to that last point....please reach out IRL and let others help you. I'm glad I did.
Gazo, you come across as a very nice person, I like you....I hope you can feel better soon.
Muffled

 

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