Posted by ElaineM on September 9, 2006, at 17:05:37
In reply to Re: bye to counsellor ***SI trig, posted by caraher on September 8, 2006, at 23:20:58
>>>It sounds like you're trying to talk yourself into believing everything is OK because you're afraid. Denying the situation is unhealthy helps you feel safe.
It might really be OK though. I'm not sure what I think of everything. I sometimes think that I just get caught up in the momentum of something without knowing why, or if I want to be doing it. Because, in my head today, I'm not sure exactly what I think or feel.
I even think that after the scaredness completely fades away I might know what I really feel. For real. T says that the blank feeling I get is only a blanket for other things I'm too afraid to feel. So I might not even know I'm having other feelings underneath. I still kinda think that the blankness is just a plain old mental brain-freeze. But he says that people don't feel ONLY fear and sadness. So I need to figure out how to recognize the love and happiness feelings in me. And he doesn't mean for him -- he means for everything.
>>>> He's the only one who can understand me.
>
>But does he? It seems to me that he often misunderstands youHe just doesn't want me to suffer more than I have to. ((((T)))) And he gives me his doctor friend so I can have a physician. He helps me do things. And he would never leave me like this. Really though, if I hadn't made him look so poorly, if you met him in real life, you would probably like him. And he's really smart. He thinks I'm smart too (under all my craziness). And we help each other.
>>>But if you allow yourself some rest, you might be able to continue your hard work.
Yes, I'm going to rest now. I'm just going to see what happens. The scariness of his confession has been wearing off since that week. And I'm not so bad at adjusting to change -- that is what I'm working on. I just need to practice. Everything is more okay than I thought, because now the worrying is over. I really almost forget yesterday. I think worrying about being infront of new people was making me worse. It made SI worse.
((((((caraher)))))) you are lovely. I am not afraid of you, and I'm grateful that you speak to me.
blove EL
poster:ElaineM
thread:684345
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/684532.html