Posted by caraher on August 28, 2006, at 20:53:49
In reply to Today, posted by ElaineM on August 28, 2006, at 20:17:52
I'm proud of you for reminding him that HE is the "doctor." Sure he has his own frailties, but in this case they mean he needs to find another line of work (since evidently they prevent him from maintaining a healthy therapeutic relationship with you).
I, too, hope you get the Friday appointment. You need help from sources other than us and your "T."
Actually, your T did make an insightful observation when he challenged your statement that you "only want to be pleasing." The fact is that you have not done everything your T wants you to do. That's GOOD! Somewhere inside, you know there are things you don't want to do and have found ways not to do them. Perhaps you can build on that knowledge and slowly re-establish more normal boundaries. Maybe something as simple as asking him not to stroke your arms... though I'd recommend getting away from him entirely if at all possible!
If he wants you to take charge of sessions, perhaps you ought to write about the ways he's being unfair to you, and stick to that topic no matter how much he tries to change it. Point out the ways in which he exploits your ill health, poor family support and fear of being alone to pressure you into being what he wants you to be and doing what he wants you to do. Remind him yet again that it is he as your T with a special responsibility toward you, and not vice-versa.
Maybe that would be WAY too hard for you! I totally understand if it is. But I wish you the strength to do at least something to stand up to him.
(((El)))
poster:caraher
thread:680627
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/680996.html