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Re: Thanks 10der. » 10derHeart

Posted by orchid on November 12, 2005, at 0:58:22

In reply to Re: Thanks 10der. » orchid, posted by 10derHeart on November 12, 2005, at 0:40:16

Thanks 10der.

My husband actually knows about it. In fact when we were about to get married, my family and my in laws family were staying in a hotel just after we arrived from the US, and one day my father was lying on the bed hugging me. And the door was not locked, so my mother-in-law happened to come in to call me for soemthing, and she got very angry seeing it, and she told my husband. And my husband fought with me about it, and I told my dad. But my dad defended his position at that time, and he was talking badly of my husband and my mother-in-law for making an issue out of it. At that time, I didn't defend my husband, (whcih was horribly wrong on my part), but then later, I always tried to silently avoid my dad. And my father had made it a point to not touch me in front of my hsuband. But after my marriage, I have also been pulling away from my dad much more than before, and I have been doing it silently for the past 4 years. But I didn't say no to it firmly and was quite frankly confused and didn't know what to think of it. Since I am pulling away, my father doesn't do as much as before, so mostly it never happens, and even if it happens, I quickly pull away silently.

But still I doubt that my father continues it knowing it hurts me. I still think he does it innocently. But maybe that was just an excuse I gave to myself when I was a kid.

It is quite embarrasing to write everything in detail here, but I need to get it out and work through this.

The good thing is, it was never overtly sexual, so I guess that is why I have atleast this much sanity left in me. It always jsut ended up being a little short of explicity abuse.


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