Posted by orchid on November 13, 2005, at 0:04:47
In reply to it's NOT your duty, and it WON'T hurt him to stop! » orchid, posted by Jen Star on November 12, 2005, at 16:21:14
Thanks Jen Star.
I have made up my mind completely that I need to say soemthing and firmly put an end to this. That much I am very clear. I can't take this anymore. Whatever happened so far, let it be. Atleast hereafter I can't have this confusing feelings in my life. I have suffered enuogh because of it, and the amount of suffering that I went through with my first T clearly tells me the amount of confusion I have in my mind. I think if I put an end to the confusion about my dad and his actions towards me, I will even fully resolve my issues in dealing with other men in my life, and will be able to accept my husband fully.
I am just thinking of a good way to put it across. Basically my dad is a good person and he loves me a lot, so I don't want to unnecessarily spoil the relationship. And he somehow just oversees this issue, or perhaps is even unaware of it being harmful to me. I am thinking of saying something like "I am still not a kid for you to hug me and touch me like this. I am grown up and married. There are appropriate ways of touching for a grown up woman like maybe patting on the back, or shoulder hug whcih you can do, but not this kind of hugging." I dn't want to bring up abuse or accuse him of anyting etc.
Maybe he will also not feel that bad, if I still allow him the right ways of touching and just say no to the other ways.
poster:orchid
thread:577289
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578153.html