Posted by 10derHeart on April 30, 2005, at 0:05:41
In reply to .....never known pain like this......(trigger?), posted by shrinking violet on April 29, 2005, at 18:56:59
sv,
I'm SO very glad to see you posting again. I get really worried when you disappear. I'd hoped and prayed you'd try to let us help you through this. Saying how awful and deep the pain is seems like a good thing.
If I may put it this way, I beg you to either tell your T. by email, phone message - the method doesn't matter - how terrible you feel. Just whichever way is a bit easier for you to do. I'll take a guess you're partly or completely hiding it from her. That in itself much feel just awful - no wonder your insides feel so bad! And if she knew you seriously didn't want to go on in life without her, she would see to it you got the help you need. ANY of your team members would, but they have to know first to help you.
SV, you DON'T have to feel like this forever. When you write your dear kitty ( I have one, too) and nature - things I think you used to take pleasure in, mean nothing any more, that is depression talking. I'm not a T., but I don't think that's necessary to spot when someone is DEEPLY depressed.
Sweetie, this is an illness and there is help out there. I know it's so hard for you to believe me right now, but it's true that you will not always feel this bad, and life CAN be worthwhile. Otherwise, as you said, why would anyone want to go on? People who've felt similar to you - and many are on these boards right now - have recovered and found the joy in life again.
Depression's sneaky, awful trick is that it steals hope. We all have to have hope, but when your brain chemicals are like this, you sometimes can't see it any more. But this is NOT who *you* are and will be. SV, we've seen other parts of you here when you felt better, and we don't want to lose that. We love you being here with us.
If you can't bring yourself to be honest with those who know you (and I understand that), you can use 911 or go to any hospital ER, any time. The people there will want to help you feel better, too. Will you think about asking directly for some help IRL, please? (((((sv)))))
poster:10derHeart
thread:491643
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/491760.html