Posted by 10derHeart on July 31, 2004, at 19:20:17
In reply to Re: Another Long explanation » 10derHeart, posted by DaisyM on July 31, 2004, at 12:01:53
:))) right back at you. You definitely made me smile with this post, especially remarking on my writing. It seemed to open some nice, little door inside me and release pleasant memories about writing back in H.S.(I'm 44). Thanks for that. So funny you singled out the "Lost opportunity..." sentence, because it's the one I thought might be the most confusing. In fact, I felt shaky about the entire post making sense. Probably I had a brief flash of "no confidence in being understood by others"...which makes no sense, really. No matter what events or relationships battered and bruised me (literally and figuratively) over my life, I've always known I am a fairly decent writer(maybe even quite good at times?). And besides, where but here would I be more easily understood? silly me :)
Yes, I already have seen another T. about 4 times. We are not "clicking" (we've talked about it), and she's on a trip now for 3 weeks. I'm either not ready yet for a new individual T., or I need a break, or she's the wrong one, or any combination. Picking my way through that minefield evey day now. I'm hopeful I'll figure it out soon.
My bright spot is, I belong to an ongoing therapy group that meets once a week. I really like this group; I feel connection, belonging, caring, e.g...I need them, they need me. So that is good. To me this is SO surprising because - my T., who I miss deeply every day - also led this group. Leading up to our last session, I was never sure I could keep the promises I'd made to him to try hard to stay w/the group. I envisioned the pain of the same room, same other people, memories of how he used to look and talk..everything..would overwhelm me. But they don't. I cry a bit, I think of him the entire time, but somehow it's okay. Even sort of oddly comforting. For the next twist, the new facilitator is the psychiatrist who took my T's job in this clinic! And, though it pains me to be honest about it, okay...I think I like her. Go figure. I think former T. would smile knowingly at what I just wrote..darn that lovely man...
Daisy, your writing does wonders for me. I will try to post more often, and you hang in there.
poster:10derHeart
thread:371026
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372747.html