Posted by Dinah on July 30, 2004, at 22:05:50
In reply to Re: The Experiment Continues, posted by starlight on July 30, 2004, at 14:32:32
If you had been a fly on the wall between my therapist and I as we struggled and fought our way to a good relationship, you'd see that it is possible for a relationship to be deep and complex despite the exchange of cash.
Yes, he is providing a fee for service. But there are many many levels to a therapeutic relationship. The only given across all levels is that everything in the relationship be geared towards the client's benefit. But that doesn't mean it has to be fake or superficial.
I've put a lot of work into the relationship to get past my issues, to successfully negotiate the boundaries of the relationship, to learn about how anger can strengthen a relationship. Yes, all those things were beneficial to me, and helped me in the real world (or at least part of the real world). But they were also all part of a real relationship. We weren't faking all those arguments and misunderstandings and rapprochements.
And he worked hard at overcoming his issues (yes, I suspect I triggered one or three or six), and at learning to trust me after I had bitten him over and over and over during the testing period, and at being honest with me rather than giving the standard therapeutic response, but also without being hurtful. And it was beneficial to me to watch someone be able to do that, and to be willing to do that to build a relationship with me.
Yes it's "just" a therapeutic relationship, but any relationship that caused that much trouble to both participants must be a real one, even if it is one limited in scope.
poster:Dinah
thread:371026
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372529.html