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Re: The Experiment Continues » starlight

Posted by daisym on July 29, 2004, at 18:25:18

In reply to Re: The Experiment Continues, posted by starlight on July 29, 2004, at 16:04:46

I pay him for phone sessions. The rest we play by ear...if it turns into a really long check-in (it becomes a session) I pay him. If it is 5 or 15 minutes...I don't. My insurance company doesn't seem to care if it is phone or not. It is "contact."

Dependent is an interesting word. What does that mean? If it is I can't make a move without his input, that's not it at all. I just presented 1.5 million dollar budget to my Board of Directors with no input from my therapist. :)

But if "dependent" is about using him to manage my stress, pain and loneliness, then I am dependent on him. He prefers the word attached, and we talk about attachment theory and disorders all the time. Basically we are approaching therapy as a learning experience --- it IS ok to let someone care about you, even if they don't NEED you and it is OK for you to care about them, even if you do NEED them.

We've moved our theoretical conversations lately to Self-psychology and Winnicott. If you are familiar with this, he is allowing me to borrow his core self while I recreate mine. Basically being a self-object for me. It helps me when I think of my needs in this context.

I hope you find a way to trust at some point. As much as I struggle with this sometimes, when I can and do allow "it" I'm glad I have it.

 

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poster:daisym thread:371026
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