Posted by pegasus on June 9, 2004, at 12:16:17
In reply to Waaaaaahhhhhhhh, posted by Dinah on June 8, 2004, at 16:00:35
Well, of course you ended up beating yourself up over noticing his opinion! Did he really say it was "none of your business"? Ouch! I think *that* was his biggest mistake. Even more than letting you see his opinion in the first place.
And furthermore, in my opinion, it is wrong to say that his opinion of you is none of your business. Of course it's your business. Can he really expect that clients aren't going to be curious about that? That they aren't going to pay attention to every little clue he might drop? And justifiably so, IMO. We tell these people the most intimate details of our lives, and then he has the nerve to say that his opinion of you (any aspect of it) is none of your business!?!? I have no idea how he could possibly be rationalizing such a statement to himself. I think his opinion of you, especially if he puts it out there, no matter how unwittingly, is something that could be very relevant to your therapy in any number of ways.
Also, I completely disagree about you not having a relationship with him as a person or vice versa. The person-to-person connection is not the only aspect of your therapeutic relationship, but if you've been seeing him for years, it *must* be part of what's going on. Both from his point of view and yours. It's hard to imagine useful therapy without that part. It's not wrong to have it or want it. And I bet he'd agree with me on that.
I think we need to add your T to the spanking list. If I were in your shoes (and what's wrong with Reeboks anyway?), this would be a big deal to work out with him over the next few weeks. And I hope you'll feel ok about challenging him on some of these things, rather than taking a couple of weeks off. This is big stuff, that can make or break therapy. I'd hate to see it simmer down and you never get the opportunity to say some important things. For example, what you wrote in your first reply to falls was great! I'd love to see you say all of that to your T.
Just my 2 cents, and sorry if I'm being reactive. I did have a strong reaction to your post, and felt very defensive for you. I hope you are able to work with/come to terms with your hair. And same with your T.
((Dinah))
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:354845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/355112.html