Posted by mair on February 23, 2004, at 11:48:41
In reply to What do you tell your parents?, posted by fallsfall on February 22, 2004, at 13:20:09
Nothing! I've never told my parents that I've been treated for multiple episodes of major depression; I've never told them I take antidepressents or that I am in therapy. I can see no purpose to it.
I love my mother; I have great difficulties with my narcissistic father, although I work hard to hide them under the surface. A couple of years ago, I was particularly angry with him and my therapist was telling me I had to keep my distance. I decided to write him a letter telling him about my depression and explaining to him why I couldn't be responsive to him. My sister (the only person in my fairly large family who knows anything about my medical history) talked me out of it arguing, correctly that rather than create some space, my father would be all over me either trying to defend himself or make amends. A letter would have had the opposite effect I was seeking. I followed her advice and really it was fine because I got alot out of just writing the letter; there was no reason to mail it.
This is a touchy subject for me because for the last several sessions, we have been talking alot about my very normal childhood. My therapist is convinced that the core of all of my self-hatred was formed as a young child, largely perhaps because my parents really didn't understand how truly sensitive I was. She may be right, but to me, now a parent of teenagers, it's a truly frightening proposition. I seem to remember very little about how I felt as a child; the few hurts I can recollect clearly came out of very unremarkable mundane events. The thought that these minor encounters could have such a great effect, makes me think that my kids don't have a chance.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:316484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040218/msgs/316838.html