Posted by pegasus on February 15, 2004, at 18:01:09
In reply to Ditto » pegasus, posted by Racer on February 15, 2004, at 16:41:06
Did your mother really say that!?!? Wow, I'm sorry. That's . . . um . . . kind of a high standard for judging whether you were smart.
I'm sure that you are very smart, even if you *did* work hard to get the good grades. Working hard to get good grades is not incompatible with being smart. In fact, it's smart to work hard at something that is important to you.
I had a lot of similar stuff from my parents growing up. I remember them comparing me to my sister (who never got anything but an A+ in any class in her whole life). They would say, "You could have gotten an A if you'd really tried." But I knew that I was trying really hard already, so that meant I was dumb. But . . . the truth is that I *am* pretty smart. It's just too bad that I had to spend so much of my life trying to prove it to myself and live up to that mom-talk (PhD in the wrong field and everything). I wish I could have known it a long time ago, and trusted myself more.
And same for you! You are so smart in the things that you say here. We don't have to know about your 4.0 in college or anything else to see that. I'm glad you are here. I appreciate your comments about refining the need for approval to a desire for respect. That sounds so much healthier!
- p
poster:pegasus
thread:312615
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/313745.html