Posted by Deneb on November 25, 2006, at 21:07:04
In reply to Re: Throwing a tantrum -- long response » Deneb, posted by Racer on November 25, 2006, at 16:56:50
> > Do you want me to go away to another forum? I don't want to go away. I like it here.
>
> No one has asked you to go away, Deneb. Suggestions have been made regarding other forums you might *also* find helpful. I think it's nice of Nikki to offer you that information. She told you that she found it helpful to her when she was struggling, and offered it to you now, while you're struggling.Sorry Nikki. I misinterpreted things. Thank-you for helping me out. I must seem pretty ungrateful.
> > I want you to accept me for who I am. I'm already getting help. Are you going to ignore me until I "get better", whatever that means?
>
> Who are you writing this to, Deneb? Is there one specific person you're asking for acceptance from?Not really. Perhaps everyone.
> Just for the record, though, I have to point out a contradiction in what you've written here. You say here that you're "already getting help," yet in earlier posts you have written that you don't want to get help right now. Perhaps it would be helpful for communication if we all made some distinction between the sort of help you are getting and the sort of help you're resisting? That way, there may be less confusion.
>
> I'm not sure just what sort of treatment you get from your pdoc? It doesn't sound as though you get psychotherapy from her, which is the sort of treatment most people here have suggested to you. But it also sounds as though you might be getting more than simply psychopharmalogical treatment from her? I'm thinking that there's some confusion in terminology that's tripping people up about this. Maybe if that confusion is cleared up, it won't look as though there's any contradiction in what you're writing.I'm already getting psychotherapy from my pdoc. I think some people think it is not enough because I'm not getting better, but I think it's enough. I talked a bit about what my pdoc tells me and someone said she's a good T. I don't think there can be much difference between what a psychologist tells me and what my pdoc tells me. I like my pdoc and I see her once a week now. We talk for 45 minutes about what is going on with me. Every session she starts off by asking me how I'm doing. I then say OK, or good and then she says, "Tell me more." Then I talk about what's been going on with me. She's helping me figure out what brings on my binges and purges. She led me to see that I binge or purge when I don't feel productive in my studying. She says the purging is punishment. She helps me see that things aren't black and white: that I don't have to either study lots and lots or not study at all, that I don't have to not eat or eat too much. There is middle ground. My pdoc really is my T. Just because she's a pdoc doesn't mean she's not a good T.
> First, your statement that you "feel abandoned." I wonder if you are misinterpreting what you feel? I say that because you're hardly abandoned on this thread -- there are more responses here than there have been to any other thread I remember on this board! I don't think it's abandonment.Yeah, you're right. I'm confusing things. When I hear people say they are going to disengage with me I sort of feel like they are giving up on me, or abandoning me. But it's not because they also say they will be here for me when I want their help.
> The responses you're getting, though, probably aren't the responses you'd like to get. That's another issue. It must feel pretty awful to read what people here have had to say, it must be very painful. Can you separate out the pain you feel, from what has actually been said? Sometimes it can help me if I diagram this sort of thing in a sort of outline: what are the actual messages I'm being given? Maybe if you can summarize the messages that way, you might not feel quite so much pain? Or, maybe you would find something useful to you, that could help you learn from this experience.
It's hard to do that, but I will try.
>
> The second chunk is this:
>
> No one here is suggesting you get psychotherapy for their own benefit. There's only one person who could potentially benefit from you getting psychotherapeutic treatment.
>
> I can't speak for anyone else here, but in my case, when I suggest it to you it's because I do not like to see you in so much pain. I see therapy as a way to learn skills that can be applied to life in such a way that pain is minimized. Therefore, because I do not like to see you in pain, I suggest something I believe will help you learn to minimize your pain.I don't know what is wrong with me. I see now that you're right, people only suggest it to me because they don't want to see me in pain. Sometimes I think people want to change me when they tell me to get therapy. I start thinking that they think there is something inherently wrong with me that needs to be fixed.
> So, Deneb, how's your weekend going? How are your classes going? What have you done offline this weekend? Did you enjoy it?
>
> Peace.My classes are nearing the end now. It's almost time for exams. I'm getting stressed out. I really have to study.
Thanks for writing to me Racer. I know you care now. It means a lot to me.
Maybe a lot of people care about me and that is why they write to me.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:703525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/707249.html