Posted by Racer on November 25, 2006, at 16:56:50
In reply to Throwing a tantrum, posted by Deneb on November 25, 2006, at 16:30:39
> Do you want me to go away to another forum? I don't want to go away. I like it here.
No one has asked you to go away, Deneb. Suggestions have been made regarding other forums you might *also* find helpful. I think it's nice of Nikki to offer you that information. She told you that she found it helpful to her when she was struggling, and offered it to you now, while you're struggling.
>
> I want you to accept me for who I am. I'm already getting help. Are you going to ignore me until I "get better", whatever that means?Who are you writing this to, Deneb? Is there one specific person you're asking for acceptance from?
Just for the record, though, I have to point out a contradiction in what you've written here. You say here that you're "already getting help," yet in earlier posts you have written that you don't want to get help right now. Perhaps it would be helpful for communication if we all made some distinction between the sort of help you are getting and the sort of help you're resisting? That way, there may be less confusion.
I'm not sure just what sort of treatment you get from your pdoc? It doesn't sound as though you get psychotherapy from her, which is the sort of treatment most people here have suggested to you. But it also sounds as though you might be getting more than simply psychopharmalogical treatment from her? I'm thinking that there's some confusion in terminology that's tripping people up about this. Maybe if that confusion is cleared up, it won't look as though there's any contradiction in what you're writing.
For the record, I do not mean to imply that I think you are not getting treatment from your pdoc. I believe you, I'm only offering a piece of information which I think might be helpful to you.
>
> The more people tell me to get help, the more I will resist getting help. You can't tell me what to do. You can't force me to do anything.
>
> I'm angry and confused. I'm throwing a tantrum. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just throwing a fit. I'm angry. I'll say anything.
>
> I feel abandoned.
>
> When I was little my Mom would try to get me to eat when I didn't want to. The more she tried the more I didn't want to eat. But if she took away the food I'll cry and cry because I want the food.
>
> Deneb*Deneb, I'm going to chop this into two pieces. I'm also going to warn you that I don't think you'll like what I'm about to write. I want you to know, though, that I am only writing it because I do care that you are in pain right now. (I have things that I need to do for my real life right now, and I'm taking time to offer you a reply to your post.)
First, your statement that you "feel abandoned." I wonder if you are misinterpreting what you feel? I say that because you're hardly abandoned on this thread -- there are more responses here than there have been to any other thread I remember on this board! I don't think it's abandonment.
The responses you're getting, though, probably aren't the responses you'd like to get. That's another issue. It must feel pretty awful to read what people here have had to say, it must be very painful. Can you separate out the pain you feel, from what has actually been said? Sometimes it can help me if I diagram this sort of thing in a sort of outline: what are the actual messages I'm being given? Maybe if you can summarize the messages that way, you might not feel quite so much pain? Or, maybe you would find something useful to you, that could help you learn from this experience.
The second chunk is this:
No one here is suggesting you get psychotherapy for their own benefit. There's only one person who could potentially benefit from you getting psychotherapeutic treatment.
I can't speak for anyone else here, but in my case, when I suggest it to you it's because I do not like to see you in so much pain. I see therapy as a way to learn skills that can be applied to life in such a way that pain is minimized. Therefore, because I do not like to see you in pain, I suggest something I believe will help you learn to minimize your pain.
You're right, Deneb. No one can force you to do anything. While it's hard for me not to try to convince you that therapy would be good for you, that has no relevance to whether or not you do anything at all. It's only about my own issues, that lead me to offer advice I think is helpful, whether or not it's accepted, or even valued.
So, Deneb, how's your weekend going? How are your classes going? What have you done offline this weekend? Did you enjoy it?
Peace.
poster:Racer
thread:703525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/707180.html