Posted by Racer on November 26, 2006, at 20:03:55
In reply to Re: How to Support and Help, posted by Dr. Bob on November 26, 2006, at 18:02:36
Thank you for taking the time to help us all improve our communication skills. There is one part that I am a little unclear about, though, and hope you'll help me understand a bit better.
> Or, in civility terms, not posting anything that could lead someone to feel accused. Even if they ask in the first place. Being honest isn't always supportive. For example:
>
> > When you posted on the cancer board, did you have cancer? Do you think that has anything to do with why people became upset there?
>I thought that was OK, because I was not saying there was anything wrong with a behavior, just asking a question which I thought would help clarify an experience? (I'm trying not to use any names, which makes this harder to phrase...)
Or, to put it another way, PosterX was asked a question: "What did you learn on the cancer site?" PosterX's answer was "to suffer in silence." I was trying to help, by asking a question I thought might help clarify the "lesson" from that site.
Is there a way I could have presented that which would have been more appropriate? Or is that something I shouldn't try to express at all?
Of course, I could have said something much more straightforward, like, "No, no one is saying you have to 'suffer in silence' here." Hm...
Maybe for Christmas, someone will give me a new style?
This though:> > I have to point out a contradiction in what you've written here.
>That isn't what I meant, anyway, so I am sorry for it. I meant "an apparent contradiction," because what I was trying to do there was to clear up the confusion: Deneb says she won't get a T, and says she's getting treatment, and I didn't think everyone realized that she got more than meds from her pdoc. I wasn't trying to say that Deneb was contradicting herself, but to help show that she wasn't actually contradicting herself. Does that make any sense? Or should I trade in my shovel for a ladder to get out of this hole?
Thanks!
poster:Racer
thread:703525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/707635.html